SCREAMING!!! Josiah may not be able to talk, but that surely doesn't mean that he is silent all of the time. He makes little noises like "bebebebeb" and "yayayaya." It sounds a lot like babbling, and it is a sweet sound. But, when he is vocalizing, he often SCREAMS between the "bebes" and "yayas." And this scream......well.......it's hard to describe. Ear piercing seems like an understatement. I can never seem to catch the really good ones. The screams that break through silence and cause your stomach to skyrocket to your throat.
THIS is just one of the reasons why going out in public is so hard. We live in a day and age when mass shootings and other horrible atrocities have become almost commonplace. Josiah's screams scare people. And we truly understand. I have actually wondered if he could possible scare a person to death. There has been more than one elderly person who has grasp their chest when we have braved taking him out. This past summer, I wanted to take all of the kids shopping to pick out their own bathing suits. Every once in a while, I get determined to do something with everyone together. We had our game plan. We had our staff for back-up. We were ready to divide and conquer. I think the trip lasted a total of 15-20 minutes. There were a few ugly stares, a lot of just curious ones, and a couple ugly comments, but we made it. Jeremy and I try to instill in our kids to always hold their heads high and never look embarrassed about their brothers. But sometimes it is understandably hard. We never realized how much we would miss blending in.
But the screaming isn't always bad. It has provided us with MANY laughs as well. A few weeks ago, I was driving with Josiah and Jack in our van. We stopped at a stop light, and a family pulled up next to us in their van. Our windows were up, but the mom's passenger side window was down. Josiah let out an ear piercing scream, and the mom, upon hearing it, let out a man sized bellow. Jack and I tried to contain our laughter until we drove away. There was another time that a tough looking biker pulled up next to me. Jo screamed, and the biker thought it was me. I thought he was going to fall off his bike in shock. He just turned and looked at me as if to say, "Did you really just scream at me, lady?" We take Josiah to church for about 15 minutes each Sunday. I am thankful that our church family does their best to smile through the occasional screams. They have shown grace to our family on countless occasions. And that is what I hope others gain from reading this post. Families like ours need your grace. There is nothing we can do to control the vocalizations of our children. We know that sometimes the screaming or loud noises can be disconcerting and even shocking. Once you move past your shock, smile and give an understanding glance. Your grace in the moment will make these families feel more accepted in the community setting.
Since we can't go in public very often due to the screaming and several other reasons, we are so excited about Josiah getting this therapy room and therapy pool. It will provide him with endless hours of enjoyment and will help to fill the void that comes from always being at home. Thank you for helping us make this happen for our boy! Because of His grace, Christy
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